My cousin is the Kristin Cavallari autograph recognizer

Last week, I published a post headlined “Please tell me who signed their book this way” and I said the person with the correct answer would receive a gift card.

I gave just two clues, both of them vague, and expected no one to identify the signer.

I never knew Dave Wilder of Miami, my cousin, was the Kristin Cavallari autograph recognizer until he emailed me on Christmas Day. He saw a snipped image of the signature atop the post and said it was Cavallari’s.

Dang, he got it right, and as far as I know, he was the only person to send an answer to the voluminous Pictures of Tilly email account.

” I thought it was her but couldn’t remember her name except that it started with K,” Dave said. “Did a google search and it said she had a book coming out in 2019 so that threw me off. Overall, it was a lucky guess.”

Barnes & Noble carries signed copies of Cavallari’s cookbook, “True Roots: A Mindful Kitchen with More Than 100 Recipes Free of Gluten, Dairy, and Refined Sugar,” published in 2018, and I saw them during one of my nightly visits to the Crossroads B&N in Gulfport.

I looked at the signature and it inspired me to come up with a contest for the faithful readers of this blog.

This is what I wrote in the contest post:

“I’ll give you just a couple clues for now.

“The signature appears in a cookbook that was published in April.

“The author is a woman.

“I’ve got one clue I’m holding back and may add later. If I tell you now, you will be able to identify the signer.”

Turns out I didn’t need to say that Cavallari is the reality TV personality married to retired NFL quarterback Jay Cutler.

Young Mr. Wilder knew all along, and for that, I was going to send him a $25 Amazon gift card, but he said I didn’t have to do that and instead  just get something for my two grandchildren.

Thank you, Dave. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

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Please tell me who signed their book this way

I enjoy browsing through signed books just to see if the autograph is good or bad, creative or lazy, one that is a keeper or not.

Let’s have a little fun with this post. Please tell who wrote the signature that appears in the picture at the top of this page. Maybe you will win something if you get it right or make up something hilarious. That something could be a $25 Amazon gift card, which I would present since I’m the one and only sole judge of this contest.

The signature has flair, but it’s not worth the price of the book. The person only provided initials. A full name would have made it attractive, though the book is not the kind I would buy.

I’ll give you just a couple clues for now.

The signature appears in a cookbook that was published in April.

The author is a woman.

I’ve got one clue I’m holding back and may add later. If I tell you now, you will be able to identify the signer.

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From New Jersey, a friend sends his holiday jeer

Crescenzo Capece, music seller, songwriter and perhaps my one and only best New Jersey friend, sent me a lyrical text message Sunday that was entertaining because of its anti-merry and anti-mirth crankiness.

Now it’s a blog post, thanks to his approval and my laziness this week to come up with original contest of my own.

Special to The Broadmoor Bureau

I know u love holidays, so:
ChrisMess Song
(Curmudgeon’s Lament)

Maybe somewhere,
Some families taking
A wonderland sleigh ride or two
I’m sitting here  in
My lounger & undies
While I chug on my
15th brew

A season of cheer
That’s what some call it
But my toe’s a hammer, not mistle
I ain’t got a mantle
With festive cards
On it
And Misery is my epistle

No Darlene’s love to
Sing me no carols
Those tunes they get
On my nerves
No special cookies
Baking in my oven
And the mall Santas
All look like fakes

So don’t you be telling
Me to be merry
Or building no snowman outside
All I needs my TV
And a frozen dinner
And i’m always hitting
My stride

Trees are for forests
They don’t need no
Reindeers are just good for
Lyme disease and bites

So leave me alone
And I’ll be just fine
While you all claim
You’ll have a jolly
Old time

Don’t get me started
About all that shopping
I’d sooner be down
in Bama sharecropping

But you have your holiday
And stress about bills
While “Bonanza” reruns
Will give me my thrills

And when the new year comes
I’ll still be the same
Another year over
And straight down
The drain!

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