‘She Shed’ commercial inspires lame attempt at re-writing Beatles lyrics

IMDB

By JOHN E. BIALAS
Broadmoor Bureau Chief

The State Farm “She Shed” television ad inspired my lame attempt last week at re-writing classic Beatles lyrics.

This post goes public with the results:

She said
Somebody burned down my she shed
Now I’m  getting a chichier she shed
After the agent said lightning struck my she shed
I said who put all those things in your she shed
Things that make you feel like you’re glad
Now this fire makes me feel like I’ll never have a he shed

 

All this dumb tongue-twisting stuff for a make-believe song I call “She Said He Shed” is because of the funny State Farm commercial in which a married woman calls an agent to report that her she shed is on fire.

The ad is when I became aware of she shed, the equivalent to a man cave.

Urban Dictionary defines a she shed as “a private room (at home) where a woman can relax, be alone and do whatever she pleases” and has an example of how a man would use the phrase.

My wife has turned the guest room into her own private She Shed. Its complete with angels, butterflies, incense, books, and flat screen TV. I am forbidden to enter!

A man cave, according to a hilarious Urban Dictionary definition, is “a term coined by metrosexuals who have forgotten what a garage is for.”

I don’t have a man cave, but Patty just had a she shed built for her behind our house, and Tilly hangs out there, too. Tilly thinks the she shed is hers as much as it is Patty’s. The 5-year-old basset will bark or cry day or night inside our home if she’s not included.

JOHN E. BIALAS
JOHN E. BIALAS

My “She Shed He Shed” lyrics are a stupid parody of the Beatles song “She Said, She Said” from “Revolver,” their 1966 album.

I found this cool demo on YouTube in which John Lennon sings the line “she’s making me feel like my trousers are gone.”

No one can compete with that.

I guess it’s time to light a fire to my “She Shed He Shed” lyrics.

See you later.

Featured image credit: IMDB

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The 5 saddest songs on The Captain’s Spotify

Editor’s note by John E. Bialas: The 5 saddest songs on The Captain’s Spotify is the second part in a series about his play list. The first part was published Feb. 28 and it features disco, dance and funk. Part 2 shows The Cap’s melancholy side.

By CAPTAIN TENACIOUS
Special to the Broadmoor Bureau

I can’t be the upbeat 24-hour bar-hopping guy I used to be because I’m three years away from my favorite birthday number, which is 69, and I get bombed and rejected at 66 years old more often than I did when I was 22.

The young lovelies who ignore my glances and advances mean a lot of lonely nights for me at home in Gulfport, Miss., and these are the songs on my Spotify that remind me I’m among all the lonely people.

 

The first song was the suggestion of Young Miami Dave, who responded to a Facebook request: What songs do you think are on The Captain’s Spotify play list?

The other picks are mine and the one stands out is “Lonesome Loser” because it reminds me of one of my worst dates.

A hippie chick went on a Little River Band date with me after I bought tickets for both of us, and even before LRB started playing the set, the girl slipped out of the auditorium with another guy.  I never saw her again.

She missed out. I would have bought her a T-shirt after the concert if she had stayed with me.

That night, I was the Lonesome Loser and when I got home, I was all by myself.

Image credit: A screen grab of Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself” on YouTube.

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Why I thought Beatles song was about Ginger Baker

A box of Good News candy inspired the Beatles song "Savoy Truffle," written by George Harrison. This is a cropped version of a photo in Harrison's book "I, Me, Mine."

By JOHN E. BIALAS
Broadmoor Bureau Chief

The South Mississippi rube that I am, I’ve always thought the Beatles song “Savoy Truffle” was about Cream drummer Ginger Baker.

“Savoy Truffle” is a George Harrison song on “The White Album,” which came out in 1968, and I got the Beatles record shortly after it was released. Sometime later, I also got an 8-track of “The White Album” and I would play it in my car.

I tried to find the original Beatles song on YouTube, but instead I came up with a nice consolation prize: Dhani Harrison, George’s son, doing a cover version.

“Savoy Truffle” is one of my favorite songs on “The White Album,” and when I was younger, I was obsessed about it. I was addicted to the sound, the lyrics and George’s singing. I would listen to the song over and over again on my record player in my bedroom and on my 8-track player when I was driving to Edgewater Mall in Biloxi.

I thought the lyrics gave clues the song was about Ginger Baker.

Creme tangerine and montelimar
A ginger sling with a pineapple heart
A coffee dessert, yes you know it’s good news
But you’ll have to have them all pulled out
After the Savoy truffle

Cool cherry cream, a nice apple tart
I feel your taste all the time we’re apart
Coconut fudge, really blows down those blues
But you’ll have to have them all pulled out
After the Savoy truffle

You might not feel it now
But when the pain cuts through
You’re going to know, and how
The sweat is going to fill your head
When it becomes too much
You shout aloud

I thought the words “Savoy truffle” were British slang for the way Ginger Baker played blues shuffle beats on his drum set.

I thought “creme tangerine” was a George Harrison reference to Baker, Eric Clapton and Jack Bruce, the rock stars in Cream, the short-lived super power trio.

I thought for sure I heard “Ginger slings with a pineapple heart,” believing pineapple heart was some kind of narcotic Baker enjoyed using while playing for Cream.

And I thought “the sweat is going to fill your head” was about withdrawal from pineapple hearts.

I’ve had these thoughts since I was 16 years old. They have entertained me for 49 years.

Then last week I got the extended 2017 edition of the 1980 George Harrison book “I, Me, Mine” and it it he explains what “Savoy Truffle” is all about.

Harrison writes that the song is about Eric Clapton’s addiction to chocolate candy at the time and the cavities the guitar god got from eating too much.

“He was over at my house and I had a box of Good News chocolates on the table and wrote the song from the names inside the lid,” Harrison says.

The box included “Ginger Sling with a Pineapple Heart.”

No matter the story, Ginger Baker slings with a pineapple heart.

Editor’s note: A photo of a Good News candy box is in Harrison’s book “I, Me, Mine.” For this post, I cropped the photo and made it the featured image.

 

 

 

 

 

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Beatles fans in their own write

By JOHN E. BIALAS

Going back to the biography Hunter Davies wrote in 1968, when I was 16 years old, I have at least 20 books about the Beatles.

Did I really need to read another one? Yes, I did.

The latest is In Their Lives: Great Writers on Great Beatles Songs.”

The collection of essays is really a book of stories that are deep, meaningful and emotional.

A Beatles obsessive will go in with a lot of knowledge and will learn even more.

The stories are personal, familial, analytical and opinionated.

They offer fresh takes. There are twists and turns.

All of this makes me happy, just like a Beatles record makes me happy.

Baby and the basset

Tilly is our 4-year-old basset hound, and since her name is in the title of this blog, I’m required to have something related to Tilly to help me get clicks.

One of the ways I hope Tilly will get me clicks is the game I play on my Facebook page: Tilly or not Tilly?

On Facebook, I post a photo or video of a basset who looks like Tilly and ask, “Tilly or not Tilly?”

This blog’s first Tilly or not Tilly? is inspired by a video I saw on “Inside Edition” on Tuesday. Don’t ask me why I was watching “Inside Edition.” I will just tell you. I was stranded in the house until 5:30 p.m. because of rain from Tropical Storm Cindy.

You can see the video here. Tilly or not Tilly?

 

 

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Pursuing my interests one post at a time

By JOHN E. BIALAS

Pictures of Tilly is the title of this new blog and the name is inspired by The Who song “Pictures of Lily” and our family’s 4-year-old basset hound, Matilda, better known as Tilly.

The blog will be about my many interests, Tilly being one of them. You can expect to see pictures of Tilly. I just might have one running with this post. The thing is that the blog will not be pet-centric.

I’ve got so many other things I want to write about: The Beatles, books, bootlegs, pizza, po-boys, gyros,  New Orleans, Gulfport, Biloxi, Covington, Madisonville, Mandeville, sports, TV, movies, art and photography.

In recent years, I’ve written about my favorite food on my Give Pizza A Chance Facebook page and I’ve written about my favorite music on my Tripe Face Boogie Facebook page. Some of the posts on this blog will have the spirit of Give Pizza A Chance and Tripe Face Boogie.

And if I think of anything else I like, I will write about that, too. Oh, yeah. Maybe doughnuts.

For now, this is a work in progress, but I have the time and the patience to speed up the process.

This post was originally published Monday on a free WordPress site. It’s being reprinted with some rewrites after I paid for a Go Daddy-hosted WordPress site with all the SEO bells and whistles.

I have a lot of time for writing about my interests. I retired from the Sun Herald newspaper on March 3, 2017, after 45 years and now every day is a day off and every week is a week’s vacation.

My plan is never to take a day off from blogging.

What else might I write about this week?

  • “In Their Lives: Great Writers on Great Beatles Songs,” a new anthology of essays
  • An exercise in futility: A failed pursuit to buy an intriguing out-of-print novel after reading about it on The New York Times website
  • My long-running debate with Sun Herald sportswriter James Jones about Paul McCartney vs. Phil Collins

After that, maybe doughnuts.

 

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