Protest song drops just in time for Cruisin’

By JOHN E. BIALAS
Broadmoor Bureau Chief

I’ve come up with a song to protest Cruisin’ The Coast.

Actually, it’s not my song. It’s a parody of “I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die Rag,” a Country Joe and the Fish Vietnam song.

Call it “The Ballad of the Uneasy Cruiser.” It represents my displeasure for Cruisin’, which rolls Oct. 1-8 and disrupts life on Highway 90 in Biloxi, Gulfport and other cities as visitors stall traffic flow with rat rods, resto rods, four-bangers and flamethrowers.

Forget peace and quiet. You can hear the noise of carburetor dung all the way to Saucier.

“The Ballad of the Uneasy Cruiser” goes something like this:

And it’s one, two, three,
What are we driving for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn,
Next stop is a vet’s Trans Am,
And it’s five, six, seven,
Close up the VA gates,
Well there ain’t no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! We’re all gonna drive

The vet reference in the lyrics does not besmirch war veterans. It besmirches veterinarians who assume poodle skirts are a new breed of dog at the Cruisin’ Sock Hop in Ocean Springs.

The mention of VA gates is a reference to Cruise Central, the old Gulfport Veterans Affairs property now known as Centennial Plaza.

In case you have never heard of Country Joe and the Fish, check out the video below.

To pad this out for SEO purposes, I’m adding a couple of lyrics from a Phil Ochs Vietnam song, “I Ain’t Marching Anymore.”

Here are the lines:

Now they want me back again
But I ain’t driving anymore
Tell me is it worth it all

If you have never heard of Phil Ochs, check out the video below.

I know many of you don’t have a sense of humor when it comes to Cruisin’.

I know many who have a sense of humor when it comes to Cruisin’.

If you appreciate the humor, let’s protest together.

Fight the horsepower.

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