By JOHN E. BIALAS
Broadmoor Bureau Chief
Testy afternoon thoughts while waiting for my comfy chair at Barnes & Noble in Gulfport, Mississippi:
Don’t interview your job applicant right here among the magazine displays.
This bookstore is not your office.
This place is for people who want to sit, relax and read.
I don’t want to overhear your conversation with the woman next to you. Both of you are in two of the store’s few comfy chairs and I’m in an uncomfortable chair mainly because of you two.
Hey man, I don’t want to hear your color code system (“we have yellow and orange”).
I don’t want to hear the train whistle that is your cellphone ring.
I want you to leave. Now.
I came here to escape distractions and seek out other worlds far from my own.
I planned to read a few pages of a Dave Eggers paperback and an Eleanor Brown paperback, but you made me sneeze so hard from whatever manly fragrance you’re wearing (Johnny Depp Dior perhaps) that you’re forcing me to sit in the Starbucks cafe.
I don’t like to sit and read in the cafe. It’s uncomfortable being surrounded by religious people and lonely laptop people, even more so when the baristas fail to fill the water pitcher or they hide the water pitcher.
I get really thirsty when I’m irritated.
Since I retired, I make daily appearances at the store and I usually find a comfy chair. I even have a favorite comfy chair and might even chat with a couple of people also relaxing in their comfy chairs.
I believe my loyalty to Barnes & Noble entitles me to free reserved seating.